Friday, November 02, 2001


DISCLAIMER: I'm cleaning up some egregiously bad html and I found this "piece." I have to warn you that it's really stupid and I'm kind of embarassed that I wrote it. I'm not really sure what I was thinking at the time

Today has been one hardcore day.

Lately I've had this desire to look for extreme versions of my normal, daily activities. Don't get me wrong. I'm obviously not a very hardcore person (I'm freaked out of needles and would probably get killed in a brawl). It's just that the things that have normally interested me don't seem as intriguing in their usual quantities. I want something more. And today has been a step in that direction.

I've been listening to quite a bit of Merzbow, Bastard Noise, and Bizarre Uproar. Not small quantities. Unhealth doses of it around the clock. I've been feverishly downloading noise off of for the past twenty-four hours and playing it on loop.

I'm also reading crazier stuff. First I picked up Ballard... now I'm reading Dennis Cooper books, for crying out loud. A lot of stuff just seems dull, so I just have to up the dosage and read about more horrific things. I saw Tetsuo: Iron Man today too. Damn. That movie is fucking crazy. Really jerky and violent black and white images with a wall of crazy sound behind it. In the first scene this metal fetishist cuts open his thigh and screams as he inserts a metal rod into it. He gets hit by a car and is abandoned in a field by the driver (who begins to turn into a fucked up metal-person for the rest of the film). I swear... this is like "Run Lola Run" (an excellent film) on amphetamines and crack. I just ate some really hot Indian food at the authentic Indian restraunt down the street. Usually I get it mildly spicy, but tonight I had them turn it way up. If I weren't so distanced from the pain my body is experiencing right now I could have never finished it. I'm still rolling on the edge of an endorphine high. It feels really good. I just hope I don't do anything stupid tomorrow.

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