Wow. I'm shaken. New Year's is completely arbitrary... but a lot has happened in the last year. I've...
lost my faith in humyn agency
thought I was in love twice
got drunk for the first time
won state and districts
fucked up and only won 7 ballots at nationals
became intimate with someone I cared about
began listening to Throbbing Gristle and Black Flag all the time
did time in jail
got my arms slashed up in a botched car stunt and almost bled to death in the backseat of my friend's car. A friend patched it up with $5.00 of medical supplies for Walgreens. I thought I was going to die that night.
Wow. Everything is changing and falling apart. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It's exciting, but i need to think long and hard about my role in the Dionysian play. Shiva dances and destroys the world. What's my role? Not sure, but hopefully love will play a great role. That's the only thing I can hold onto.
In the Mahabharata, it says:
"Earth is strewn over with bright
weapons and red with blood. She
resembles a dark dancing girl
dressed in crimson, fallen, confused
with wine, her golden bells and
silver ornaments all deranged . . .
But it is an illusion. It is done in
Who has been slain?
Who has done murder here?"
We shall see in 2002. Into the death. Let's go..