Wednesday, April 17, 2002

was created by an evil god.

tonight i decided that i want to consume reality.

i just want to burn and reorient everything, the way radiation changes molecular structure. mutates particles and makes them move in new ways. poetic rays that real around skin. you shiver and bathe in hormesis metaphors as pictures of saints and dragons eating pigflesh dance around your eyes and you remember what it felt like when you met your first best friend in pre-school, the kid who talked spoke to you in a timid voice when everyone else told you to get lost.

or that girl who shocked you when she said you weren't ugly after all in junior high. she's gone now but your skin's still flaming.

let's get alive, yo. shower in hydrochloric acid that streams down your face and burns off skin, that part of you that made you weak. like the taxi driver that held his hand over the flame and wouldn't let go. you are kishatriya, warrior god that knows no good or evil. you are the artist in the theater of cruelty who delights in spectacularly horrific performance art just to make everyone happy. you are shiva. the world is destroyed in wake of your terrible dance. buildings burn and glass is broken and you burst super nova style because clothes can't take the heat.

let's love everything. yeah. the world is horrible. people die and do mean things to each other. even you are the epitome of evil. but that doesn't mean you can't cherish it and kiss everyone you see. hug a friend until they think you've gone off and ask what on earth you're doing.

hang on and sing. laugh even. roll eyes at mathmaticians and political pundits who want to tell you who "you are."

to hell with that. you don't know what i am. i am and that's too much for you. my burned skin and layers of scars just don't jive in your world of equations and logical proofs. it jacks the code, a virus injected that breaks down everything you ever considered real.

the world is on fire tonight.

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