"i don't want to drink coffee. i dont like being kept up when i'm alone at night."
sleep is the problem. the temperature feels wrong. it's a few degrees below where it's supposed to be. there's a missing presence and every time i get close to following asleep, it makes itself apparent. it kicks me in the gut and i cough and sit up and swallow mucous. it's not that i'm alone, though. there are people around like always.
it's that the person i need isn't here.
cut out the caffeine, read, drink something warm, and i'll pull through to the morning.
i wish i were better at working and being productive when i feel lonely.