Wednesday, January 15, 2003


or a brief second tonight, i seriously contemplated what it would be like if i did something really horrible.

the thought went away, but it scares me that i thought about it. i don't think i've thought that way since... 8th grade i think.

and now there really isn't anyone i can tell about it. no one fucking gets it.

"your life is perfect! you're not supposed to be sad! go away!"

"you're such a drag. go away."

"ohhhh.. i'm so sorrrryyyy. sniff! sniff! ...go away."

what the fuck ever. i'm me and that's all that matters. every other body can just shrivel up into a pile of dust and i'll keep living

and living

and living

and living.

It NEVER has to be good enough for anyone else.

it's just that sometimes i wish at least one other person had faith.

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